Martha L Garmon

We have all heard the speech, “Put on your oxygen mask before assisting others.” Yet, as caregivers, we tend to worry about everyone else before we take care of ourselves. With the holiday season upon us, it is critical that we take care of ourselves NOW.  I know all of the excuses – I’ve used them on myself. “Self-care is selfish.” Not only is self-care  not  selfish, it is critical. If I never take a moment for myself, it is a given that I will burnout. If I don’t take care of myself physically, I will eventually get sick or hurt myself. When I am sick or hurt I will not be able to care for my loved one. “There is no one who can take care of him/her like I can.” This is probably true. However, if I burnout, get sick, or get hurt – and I will – someone else will be taking care of them anyway. “I don’t have any help so I don’t have time to take care of myself.” This might be true, but more than likely I haven’t asked anyone. Most of the time I wait for someone to offer; I...

“Let me know if there is anything I can do?” Caregivers hear this phrase a lot. We know you are sincere, but most of us do not want to ask for help. It is much easier to accept when a specific offer is made. Many of the things we need are mundane and it seems wrong to ask help with chores. However, if you offer to do something specific, it doesn’t feel as awkward. If you live nearby, ask if you can help with routine errands such as picking up or returning library books or DVDs. Say, “Hey, I’m going to the library, do you need me to pick up a book or do you have any books you need returned?” or “I’m going to the Redbox, do you have any movies you would like to see or any that need to be returned?” I know in my household, movies and books are frequently forgotten until the last moment and at the most inconvenient time. (Thankfully, I have gone almost entirely digital or I would be paying late fees continually!) If you make regular trips to the library or video store you could make a stan...