Calgon, Take Me Away....


This week I’m talking about how to help caregivers with stress reduction. There are two big ways you can help in this respect. Respite and Pampering – or BOTH! When I did a presentation on the Care and Feeding of Caregivers, a friend pointed out on one of my PowerPoint slides that I had listed Pampering twice. I saw that she was right and responded, “Well, it’s a good one!”

Caregivers are frequently under more stress than you can imagine. Even when we look calm and in control, just under the surface we are a mess. I am blessed to have a lot of paid help caring for Stephan. However, the emotional stress I carry still consumes me on a daily basis. I cannot imagine how I would survive without the help I have. If you can give a caregiver a break, even for just an hour, you will do much to reduce their stress. 

First let’s talk respite….

The definition of respite is “an interval of rest or relief.” All caregivers NEED respite. We are “on” 24/7 and we need time to recharge our batteries and relax. If we don’t, we will be one of the statistics – over 40% of family caregivers of people with dementia die BEFORE their caree. We NEED respite!

I have a beautiful bathtub. I don’t get the chance to use it as often as I should. It is amazing what 30-45 minutes in a bubble bath can do for your attitude – especially if you are able to truly relax and not be listening for your loved one. That’s the problem, I’m always listening for him in case he needs me. Do you have time to come take him out for coffee? Can you come over and watch TV with him? Give me an hour to get into my bath and let my troubles drift away. Ok, they may not actually drift away, but you get the idea. If the caregiver you know doesn’t have a beautiful bathtub or even like to take a bath, don’t underestimate the power of an hour to do something for themselves. Maybe they would like to spend an hour in the garden, or going to the gym, or reading a book, or getting coffee with a friend. Any time you can give caregivers time to concentrate on themselves you will help them recharge.

If the caregiver has children at home, you could watch the kids for a while, or sit with their loved one so they can spend uninterrupted time with the children. They probably need some of both.

If you have the ability to take over for the caregiver for a couple of nights, you will be a hero. Every full-time caregiver needs a couple of nights off every two to three months. Can you be the reason they get that time off? Get a group of people and take shifts or collect the funds and hire someone. 

Respite is mandatory for a caregiver. Unfortunately, most caregivers rarely get respite, an hour or a couple of nights, and the stress builds up until they are overwhelmed.

What if you can’t help with respite? Try pampering….

If you live farther away, you can send a caregiver care package. I talked to a number of caregivers, both men (don’t forget the male caregivers – they need love, too!) and women, and asked for their suggestions on what they would like to see in a care package. Some of the ideas included scented candles, bath salts, essential oils, wine, dark chocolate, fuzzy socks, lotion, a movie, a CD, gift cards, a puzzle, cookies, pretzels, or trail mix. Gift cards could be for Starbucks, Amazon, iTunes, a massage, or a mani/pedi. Use your imagination.

Know your caregiver and what they like. Some like dark chocolate, some like milk chocolate, some may not like chocolate at all. Anything you put in a care basket is going to be appreciated because like the name, it shows you care. 

Caregivers are superheroes, show them they are appreciated and loved. Pamper them, give them the recognition they deserve. The saying goes that everyone will be touched by caregiving at some point in their life – they will either be a caregiver or need a caregiver. Let’s start a tradition of taking care of the caregivers so they will not become one of the statistics!

Until next time!
Martha

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